Our dog Max loved to eat
so much he’d choke himself
and vomit trying to figure out
how to get food off the kitchen
counter. He loved you when
he wanted something except
when he was eating at which
time you became at best
a raging shop owner trying
to catch a shoplifter, and at
worst a threat to his survival
and someone who should know
better if he wants to keep his face.
To avoid having your food eaten
the second you stepped out of
the room you had to place
it on top of the refrigerator
or lock it the bedroom,
even the doorknobs were useless.
One day I caught him wolfing
the last of 6 hotdogs off the counter,
in the time it took me to tinkle,
and the look on his face seemed
to say, not I couldn’t help myself
please don’t hurt me, but don’t
come near me if you know what’s
good for you right now, you
stupid human, keep them coming
or you’ll see me transform into
a monster the likes you’ve never seen,
before he ran off with his tail
between his legs and looked back
with those big, beautiful, brown,
water-filled, don’t kill me eyes I’ll
never trust again, not even if
they’re my own.